Love ... Stepping All the Way In

A popular saying counsels us to love as if we have never been hurt. Easier said than done, especially by the halfway point in life. OK, maybe a bit past half way ... 

Elvis sang about the thoughts that run through the minds of those skirting along the edge of love - one foot in, one foot out - and how suspicion will undermine whatever drew you together in the first place destroying hope and heart alike.

“We can’t go on together, with suspicious minds ... 

And we can’t build our dreams, on suspicious minds.”

Suspicion destroys what it touches, draws us down dark and lonely roads, and leaves us in the desert wasteland of life, alone and afraid. Much like anger and resentment, it’s a dubious luxury I can ill afford.

I read once that it is better to trust and find out you were wrong, than to live a life of distrust, which undermines the very happiness we seek. In the past, that was a concept I could not comprehend. But today, I can. Trust is earned. 

 

Today, I’m holding out for the dream that God put into my heart: A true love of my very own. I won’t let the past cloud my present, nor dictate my future. God has a wonderful plan—a plan for my welfare and not for my harm. I will hold onto the hope, and the faith, and His promises that I know to be true. 

“Oh let our love survive, 

I’ll dry the tears from your eyes.

Let’s don’t let a good thing die,

Ah honey, you know that I never lied to you.

I’m loving like there is no tomorrow—stepping all the way in, with all my mind, and all my heart, and all my strength, and letting God show me that most excellent way.

At the End of Self

At the end of the tears; at the end of the rage; at the end of the powerlessness, hopelessness and fear that has consumed my heart and my mind.

It is at the end of self, where You let me find you. All is well. All is well.

Emotional Endgame

"If the phone doesn't ring, it's me...."
Indifference - the emotional equivalent of "I don't give a fuck anymore." Well past the stages of upset-about and fed-up with, it's the final phase of dealing with people, places and things that have gone from unacceptable to over-the-freaking top.
You know you're at this stage when no matter what is said, done or imagined, it makes no impression, and there is little to no response let alone reaction on your part.
It's at this point that cooler heads really do prevail--you're just plain DONE with it. (my apologies for those who take issue by ending a sentence with a prepositional phrase and kudos to those who neither know nor care about prepositional phrases) It's also a far more comfortable feeling than the aforementioned negative states.
Indifference can be habit-forming, so as with all indulgence, moderation is the key. It beats the hell out of emotional turmoil and mental masturbation, yes, but be wary of this or any other negative perspective settling into your head and heart.
Rather, let your life be tempered with healthy love of self. As Ehrmann wrote, "in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."