The rain is falling outside and I am warm and comfy physically -- despite the stink from the who-knows-what of this apartment -- and emotionally. No feelings of anxiety or itching to do something. It's 23:17 and I'm sleepy -- a good-days-work kind of sleepy. I've checked the inventory and I think I'm in pretty good shape. I've checked my motives and found them to be of good faith. The condition of my condition: balanced and focused.
I may actually have found true north.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
A Ride in the Park
It's a beautiful day and I've made good headway on the business plan and health directive, so I decided to take the last part of the day and go for a ride to the Blue Tea House in Vondelpark. In reality I pretty much made the decision about halfway thru my first cup of coffee this morning and it only solidified further with each passing hour. But I did my meeting and even some writing (inspired writing I might add) so I am living in the moment -- right here, right now.
I did invite a friend but it was just in passing and they haven't called. No loss, in fact, kinda nice not to have to talk. Too little comfortable silence with people. Anyway, I'm enjoying my down time listening to music, eating apple pie and just being alive.
Checking the condition of my condition -- I really am OK. That feeling of needing to be doing something, going somewhere, being with someone seems far away today. It'll be back, but for today, I'm good with my hyper-sensitive id taking the afternoon off.
Technology is so cool. I'm sitting her listening to my music -- the quality of this iPad is really good (we used to call it high fidelity but I'm not sure what they call it today) anyway, it's my music and not the techno pop predominant in Europe. Funny how music so defines a person. Sorry to say, I think most of today's music is well ... crap. Not a wholly literate statement, I agree, and certainly not indicative of a college-educated, progressive and open mind -- submitted several times over to courses in music history and appreciation -- or even the creative mind I like to think lurks somewhere behind my eyeballs. (Of course that too is a subjective statement) But I believe in calling it like I see it.
In any case, I'm loving the fact that I can listen to music, ride my bike, have coffee or just be still without feeling like something is missing. I mean, who can't relate to Jimmy Buffet's Monday blues, appreciate the flamenco guitar work in Crystal Blue Persuasion or the husky vocals of Cowboy Junkies, all with just a fews thumb taps on a tablet. (Finally learning to type on this virtual keyboard with my thumbs, and getting pretty good, probably 'cause I don't have to find the nanometer-sized sweet spot that my so-called smart phone requires me to use.)
Well, the coffee is cold and the pie is done. The Mamas and Papas have whispered prayers to the one they love and the sun has set beyond the trees. Steve Marriott and the boys are doing their 30 days and I'm heading home.
Peace.
I did invite a friend but it was just in passing and they haven't called. No loss, in fact, kinda nice not to have to talk. Too little comfortable silence with people. Anyway, I'm enjoying my down time listening to music, eating apple pie and just being alive.
Checking the condition of my condition -- I really am OK. That feeling of needing to be doing something, going somewhere, being with someone seems far away today. It'll be back, but for today, I'm good with my hyper-sensitive id taking the afternoon off.
Technology is so cool. I'm sitting her listening to my music -- the quality of this iPad is really good (we used to call it high fidelity but I'm not sure what they call it today) anyway, it's my music and not the techno pop predominant in Europe. Funny how music so defines a person. Sorry to say, I think most of today's music is well ... crap. Not a wholly literate statement, I agree, and certainly not indicative of a college-educated, progressive and open mind -- submitted several times over to courses in music history and appreciation -- or even the creative mind I like to think lurks somewhere behind my eyeballs. (Of course that too is a subjective statement) But I believe in calling it like I see it.
In any case, I'm loving the fact that I can listen to music, ride my bike, have coffee or just be still without feeling like something is missing. I mean, who can't relate to Jimmy Buffet's Monday blues, appreciate the flamenco guitar work in Crystal Blue Persuasion or the husky vocals of Cowboy Junkies, all with just a fews thumb taps on a tablet. (Finally learning to type on this virtual keyboard with my thumbs, and getting pretty good, probably 'cause I don't have to find the nanometer-sized sweet spot that my so-called smart phone requires me to use.)
Well, the coffee is cold and the pie is done. The Mamas and Papas have whispered prayers to the one they love and the sun has set beyond the trees. Steve Marriott and the boys are doing their 30 days and I'm heading home.
Peace.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
... really, really good!
I am still so amazed at the kindness people show me. It's not even my birthday yet and I've had well wishes from friends near and far, flowers large and small, gifts to open at midnight and even a home-cooked meal to mark the occasion. Moreover, I have this wonderful sense of peace in my head and heart that started a few weeks ago and has just gotten more intense is each passing day.
I think it's true serenity because even the annoyances and anger that occurs in normal day-to-day dealing with life have been short-lived. And no residual resentment, which is a good thing any day.
Life is good, and as my friend Victoria said .... really, really, good!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)