Omissions

Some would say that omission is merely manipulation--others would say it's just lying.

During the past week, the case of Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old child who was shot and killed A MONTH A GO by George Zimmerman, a local neighborhood watch guy in Sanford, Fla., has ballooned into a public spectacle of people traipsing before TV cameras and marching through the streets demanding justice for Trayvon, making speeches about how the rights of black men everywhere are being stomped on, and even more disturbing, how "they" killed Trayvon. I'm still not sure who "they" are but I have a pretty good idea they're white. Our own president has even waded into the public fray--again--as if he doesn't have enough to do--saying that his son would look like Trayvon. Really? REALLY?

Today, news outlets are reporting that Trayvon was the real aggressor, punching Zimmerman in the face and breaking his nose and then pounding his head into the ground. Sanford police admit that they had this information, that it has been corroborated by witnesses and that it was indeed leaked by someone within their department.

So the question now becomes--who held back?

I'm not talking about Trayvon's suspension from a Miami area high school for holding an empty reefer bag. I'm not talking about hospital records to confirm a broken nose. I'm not even talking about why this case took a month to come to light. I'm talking about information that could have laid to rest a case that now has the potential to become a flashpoint for every hatemonger, bigot and racist in the country--black and white.

Unfortunately, I think the finger pointing has only just begun...

Only Love Lasts Forever

Yesterday, I lost my best friend and the love of my life of nearly 20 years. My Blackie Boy was always there, through sick and sin, and I will forever be grateful for the unconditional love he showed me for so very long. Goodbye my angel. Rest now, my sweet boy, until we are together again...

Mr. Blacks "Blackie" Harris
Aug. 6, 1992-Mar.12, 2012

In the arms of an angel fly away from here..." ~ Sarah McLaughlin

Online Dating & the Scientific Community

So the social science community has also spoken out about the problems with online dating. Much like my previous post, two psychology professors have an article published this month in the research journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest. The current issue features other articles that also delve into the promises of the online dating industry. And let's not forget that it is an industry--a "profit deal," to quote Steve Martin's Navin Johnson character.

Match.com has a 6-month deal for $16.99/mo that includes a "guarantee." I assume that's a guarantee they'll find you a suitable mate--according to their algorithms and 29 dimensions of compatibility. Yeah, right. Let's see, $16.99 x 6 = $101.94, So at a hundred bucks a pop times the roughy 15 million people they claim to have serviced (interesting word choice) since 1995, you can see how the numbers add up (I tried and my TI-83 came up with 5.19894E10, which means that either my math skills are still sorely lacking or that the numbers are astronomically high) But I think the point is made--we're talking big bucks. The capitalist in me can relate.

Bottom line is that an algorithm can only predict how two people (dependent variables) will interact when the circumstances (independent variables) are known. That is, when the situation is totally controlled--like with lab rats.

Not like the real world where people meet, date, talk, form a relationship, make love, argue, problem-solve, compromise, hopefully make better love, etc. etc. etc. (the real independent variables)

So the busy, lonely, socially inept, out-of-practice and curious will continue to use online dating. For 17 years and counting, sites like Match.com have made a ton of money working the matchmaking con, er game, er business. What a sad commentary on our so-called advanced society.

Good luck!

Online Dating with a Broken Picker

Ah, the pitfalls of online dating! Just the phrase "online dating" sounds kind of sad and lonely. There was an old song once that went, "In the year 2525 ... pick your son, pick your daughter too. From the bottom of a long glass tube. Whoa-o-o" Is online dating the precursor to this?

I've known a few people who have tried sites like Match.com, etc. I'm not sure if any of the "dates" worked out, but how bad could it be, really?

Let's see. I get an array of pics to view (I'm sure it's not like the photo lineup from that robbery in Miami a few years back) and a slew of profiles to read (which I am sure are filled with catchy and well thought out, best-foot-forward" info) all of which have been collated for me using an algorithm (I hated Stats class) that includes a index- to ring-finger ratio that measures testosterone levels (huh?) I'll just sort through these--throw out any that look creepy, ugly or like my ex and chose my next hostage, er mate. Right?

The only problem is, I've got a broken picker. I wouldn't know a good man if he sat across the table from me. And that's the real problem with online dating. The lack of interaction that's called "chemistry" which no mathematical genius has been able to successfully replicate thus far. There has to be some sort of spark between two people and I'm not sure that's going to come from a pic and a profile. Sure, you can go through the motions, meet meet these men and women you've chosen face-to-face, but honestly, I barely have time for sleep, let along an hour a pop to figure out a perfect stranger's finger ratios.

And while the divorce rate in the U.S. is down for the period 2000-2010, according to the CDC the marriage rate in this country is also down, which I think is more about money than mojo--or lack there of.

Mom always said, it'll happen when you're NOT looking. Well, she's been right about so many other things. I think I'll give it a try.

Good hunting.

Ah, make that BILLIONS, please!

During dinner last night a friend pointed out that my last post had noted that the Facebook IPO currently under way was valued at about $75 million. Well, make that $75 BILLION with a B.

Rather than just edit the one word, I figured a new post would underscore a point about millions and billions. Most people just don't think in terms of billions of dollars. I mean, to the average John and Jane Q. Public, what's the difference--three zeros. How many of them would ever have to worry about whether their portfolio is ever going to reach the billion dollar mark.

But it also shows that the numbers that are being generated by Wall Street far outpace those of Main Street. And that is no mistake.

MH.

Facebook and the sounds of the 90s

The long-awaited Facebook IPO is in full tilt and market analysts are estimating the offering will net about $75 million--maybe more--for Zuckerberg and the insiders. That of course is mere speculation, but isn't that what the stock market is all about?

 Does anyone remember the dot-com bubble of the late 1990s-early 2000s when equally attractive companies from Silicon Valley to NYC were trading at 1000% above true valuation? Or he real estate market that crashed and burned in 2006? These types of over valuations resulted in people cashing in their 401ks and kid's college funds, mortgaging the house, car and anything else could take to the bank to get into the game.

So the boucoup bucks go to the high rollers. You, me and the estimated 800,000,000 users worldwide will only get more advertising crowding out our chat lists, more privacy infringement and personal info. mining to sustain that advertising, ever-changing security measures to  figure out and less of what we really came for--a place to see and be seen without having to leave our homes.

So go update your status, spread your love life like icing on a cake (stole that from the "Help") and post a funny (or even stupid) video. This is your space--for now.

Namaste

Loaves and Fishes

From time to time, mankind is in need of a little redemption. This little story from the New York Times about the Loaves and Fishes Cafe did it for me:

It not only speaks about the kindness of strangers for one another, but about the resiliency of spirit. I gotta tell ya, I'm not sure that I would have stuck around for a New England winter after having my town nearly washed away. I don't know that I have the fortitude that these people did--and do.

Schoharie (pronounced Sko-HAR-ee), is a small hamlet in upstate New York, where friends and neighbors, strangers and passers-by have cobbled together a place of respite for the many residents who were inundated by the once-in-a-lifetime, back-to-back smack-downs the little town took from Mother Nature last year; namely, Tropical Storm Lee in August and then Hurricane Irene in September.

According to the story, the Loaves and Fishes cafe started out as just a group of people using outdoor barbecue grills after the storm. With no power, a community shared what it could. Then, little by slow, more food appeared. A casserole here, a pot of soup there. It's never the same from day to day, and the little group that serve as wait staff and community glue don't know what will come tomorrow. But as the Rev. Sherri Meyer-Veen said, "We just can't keep up with God."

I couldn't agree more.

Now, the Unraveling

Ok, so Jakadrien Turner is now back on US soil in the loving arms of family and friends. Now, the tangle of lies, ineptitude and strange Facebook postings can perhaps be unraveled and revealed to an American public up in arms about how a 14-year-old girl could dupe officials into believing she was 22 and Columbian.

Now, I understand the ineptitude part. I myself had once penned a note bearing my mother's signature to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office requesting that her car, which had been impounded the night before when a friend and I were stopped for careless driving coming out of the Caribbean Club (that's another story altogether), be released to my custody-which they did. I was only 14 at the time, and let's face it, the Monroe County Officials of the 1980s were rather laid back. Stoned, might be a better word - or maybe it was the right combo of rum and coke and sea air. I also understand Jakadien's partying down in Columbia--it's what kids do.

What I don't understand is why this girl kept up the charade so long? And what drove her out of the house is the first place? And would she have kept up the ruse if she hadn't have been found on FB?

That her family is going to sue every agency involved was a given, even before they announced it. We live in a litigious society--and it's always somebody else's fault...

More will be revealed, and I suspect it is not what everyone might expect.

Morning Weirdness

One of the first stories I read today was about a 14-year-old Dallas girl who got herself deported to Columbia after giving police a phony name when she was arrested for shoplifting. The name she gave belonged to a 22-year-old illegal immigrant who was wanted on various charges. Today, she sits in a Columbian detention center awaiting a decision by authorities as to her fate.

The back story is that 15-year-old Jakadrien Turner is a runaway who left her home in late 2010 at the age of 14 in reaction to the divorce of her parents (I can understand this) and the death of a grandparent. She gravitated toward Houston and obviously came into contact with an older and dangerous crowd, hence the shoplifting and illegal name usage. (again, I can relate to this)

Here's the kicker: The girl maintained the lie about her phony name throughout the investigation, even posting herself to Facebook after being dumped in Bogota. Her grandmother is now up in arms after finding her via FB and want to know why Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials sent her to Columbia without verifying her identification.

I am not sure what bothers me most: That something drove this child to leave her home, assume the identity of a criminal, maintain that identity through detention, questioning, booking and finally deportation to a foreign country, or that a child could subvert the legal system with lie upon lie and then blithely go on with her life, including getting a job and maintaining her FB page as if nothing were wrong. Worse, that supposedly trained officials in two countries could be bamboozled by a slip of girl anyway.

By the way, where the hell are this girl's parents?

I mean, though the FB page is no longer available, it would seem that IF she could post a status, a good one might have been "HELP, I'VE BEEN DEPORTED TO COLUMBIA!" At some point she could have called someone--anyone--I mean they have phones in Columbia. I guess this child never heard of an American embassy, either. A testament to the lack of social studies and civics classes missing from our public school system.

Many children run away--for a number of reasons including the divorce of parents. What doesn't happen often is children getting caught in the inner workings of international immigration policies because they won't own up to the truth. Too many kids are caught in the legal system because nobody wants them, and they have nowhere else to go. That this girl has placed herself in a position to be jailed--twice--shows either a complete lack of understanding of how the real world operates (very possible at 14) or complete arrogance and total disregard for how the world works (also very possible at 14). Both issues are education based, and both issues stem from a troubled world where children have about as much worth as they did in the days of Charles Dickens, unless we consider child porn and child labor acceptable measures of worth.

Our children are a precious commodity. We should be nurturing their spirits as well as their minds. But sadly, too often, they are relegated to the drips and drabs of time their parents can scratch out while Mom & Dad either work 2 jobs each to keep a roof over the family's heads and food on the table or pursue their daily drug and alcohol habits. This is a shameful state for a country that boasts superpower status in the 21st century.

I wish Jakadrien well. For a girl who doesn't speak Spanish (one posting says she is now pregnant--no surprise there, either) being jailed in a Spanish-speaking country is no picnic.

Where Does the Time Go?

I posted just a week ago that the bulk of my classwork was behind me, but here I am up to my eyeballs in work that needed to be addressed before the next semester. I've spent the better part of two weeks just updating this and reviewing that; one professor has a reading list of 11--count 'em--11 books. Welcome back to grad school!

Anyway, I'm back in the swing. Resumes are all updated, clips are ready to go, thesis is in the pipeline and we are less than a year from graduation.

Hallelujah!

Can we get some decent Chinese food now?